“do not be afraid” and other shit i finally stopped telling myself

“Do not be afraid.” That phrase is famously said in the Bible 365 times. One for every day of the year. But I heard it more often than that growing up. We sang it in songs and chanted it in the church sanctuary. We even made jewelry, t-shirts, mugs, you name it; all toting theContinue reading ““do not be afraid” and other shit i finally stopped telling myself”

shame, group therapy, and Tokyo Ghoul

*Content warning: vivid descriptions of finger/skin picking in first paragraph, death described later, along with small spoilers for the manga, Tokyo Ghoul:re*             Over the past six months or so, I’ve developed a bad habit of picking the skin around my fingernails. I didn’t really notice it at first. People had to point out thatContinue reading “shame, group therapy, and Tokyo Ghoul”

i can never be what i ought to be until you are what you ought to be.

            I remember that she told me that after six years, she did not want to be my best friend anymore. She told me that her relationship with God mattered more than her relationship with me. She calculated her moves with her theology, beliefs, and goals and she determined it would be better to cutContinue reading “i can never be what i ought to be until you are what you ought to be.”

to my homophobic father, from your lesbian daughter

when I was in middle school, you coached me in softball. I was young, bad at sports, and suffering from terrible social anxiety. I was so introverted and shy. But you always wanted me to have friends. Be supported. Have confidence. That’s why you drove me to every softball practice, every game, every tournament. That’sContinue reading “to my homophobic father, from your lesbian daughter”

on learning to love femininity

I used to wear dresses. All kinds of dresses. Dresses with frills, with lace, with beautiful floral patterns; dresses that were simple or plain. I loved wearing pants under my dresses for some reason; my fashion never made much sense to anyone. I’m not sure what happened. By the time I was in middle schoolContinue reading “on learning to love femininity”