Faith Marie

i can never be what i ought to be until you are what you ought to be.

I remember that she told me that after six years, she did not want to be my best friend anymore. She told me that her relationship with God mattered more than her relationship with me. She calculated her moves with her theology, beliefs, and goals and she determined it would be better to cutContinue reading “i can never be what i ought to be until you are what you ought to be.”

i’m all grown up (i haven’t really grown up)

When I was a kid, I used to hide under my covers and force my eyes shut, trying with all my might to go to sleep. I was a scared little kid; afraid of the dark, of nightmares, of the end of the world. I was too small and too terrified, so I would hideContinue reading “i’m all grown up (i haven’t really grown up)”

to my homophobic father, from your lesbian daughter

when I was in middle school, you coached me in softball. I was young, bad at sports, and suffering from terrible social anxiety. I was so introverted and shy. But you always wanted me to have friends. Be supported. Have confidence. That’s why you drove me to every softball practice, every game, every tournament. That’sContinue reading “to my homophobic father, from your lesbian daughter”

in which i try to stop being angry

I keep trying to stop being so angry. I close my eyes and will myself to let it go, the way I was always taught to let things go. but lately there have been some things that don’t go away. I find myself unable to stop being bitter over some things. I know I’m worseContinue reading “in which i try to stop being angry”

touch

Once upon a time, in a world completely different than the one we live in now, i wrote this piece about touch. I wrote it in a world that had no idea covid was coming. I was just a sick person in the hospital who was very touch deprived and thinking over concepts of sickness,Continue reading “touch”

on learning to love femininity

I used to wear dresses. All kinds of dresses. Dresses with frills, with lace, with beautiful floral patterns; dresses that were simple or plain. I loved wearing pants under my dresses for some reason; my fashion never made much sense to anyone. I’m not sure what happened. By the time I was in middle schoolContinue reading “on learning to love femininity”

The Parasite

The water splashes onto the floor; soap bubbling up inside of it. I take my mop and quickly begin to soak the linoleum floors. They’re grimy and stained to the point of no return, but I try anyway. I have been at the homeless shelter for a week already and this is my family’s chore.Continue reading “The Parasite”

i’m coming out (of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine)

i have never been to an actual confession like the ones they have in church with the priest where you have to confess all of your sins while you stare straight ahead inside of a small box. but i have some things i have wanted to confess for some time now. i hope you willContinue reading “i’m coming out (of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine)”

writing about my garden

A couple months ago, I decided I wanted to plant a garden. I have spent a lot of time researching good plants, soil, timelines, and tips. I’m not sure why exactly, but a lot of writers and theologians that I respect had such beautiful, insightful revelations over gardening. Its a way to connect back toContinue reading “writing about my garden”

lent: reflection

For the last forty four days I have remained off of all major social medias. Namely; twitter, instagram, and facebook. I allowed myself Pinterest, because of the wholesome content, and Snapchat; mostly to talk to elizabeth and julia. (Admittedly, I joined tiktok during lent which wasn’t part of the plan but, as they say, “itContinue reading “lent: reflection”