It’s happening guys.
We’re growing up.
Well, maybe not all of us. Some of us have already grown and others still have a long way to go. But basically what I’m getting at is I’m graduating. Me and my friends aren’t little children anymore. I’ve been filled with so many emotions with all my fellow seniors posting pictures with their college tee’s and prom dresses. It feels surreal. Of course, high school happened too fast and it scared me. It’s weird that I’m an adult. Let me tell you the truth.
I’m terrified. I’m mad. I’m sad. I’m confused.
I’m not ready to grow up. It’s weird because people look at me like I’m an adult while I still see myself as a ten year old. It seems like just yesterday I was in middle school and the biggest stressor in my life was friend drama and wondering if my crush liked me back. I am ill prepared for life; I have no idea how I’m going to pass the tests I have to take for college, I don’t know how I’m going to survive anything in college, or how I’ll have time to do anything with all the homework I’ll probably have, and I might get a job in the summer, and I’m still afraid to talk to my doctor on the phone, and I need to get a drivers license, and I realized that I need to learn how to make decisions for myself now, and that I won’t have youth group anymore and a good portion of my friends are leaving the state while I’m just going to community college. I hate change. It scares the crap out of me. So all that…yep. No thank you. Can we not?
But a long time ago I made a promise to myself. I promised I wouldn’t be “that guy.” You know, the one who complained about how growing up sucks and life is just passing by so fast? I never wanted to be someone who said that, and I still don’t. Because growing up is what we were made to do. It’s a part of life. And complaining about it only makes you miserable. So really, what’s the point? Growing up is wonderful. I always used to fantasize about being eighteen. I wanted to grow up so badly. I’m sure most people did too until they actually got to be a senior in high school; and by then they were wishing they were young again. I almost wish that too.
But no. I refuse to think that way. Because its pointless. I’m going to allow myself to look back on my life and smile and be grateful it all happened but never ask to go back because I can’t. All I have is what’s in front of me, and its enough. A lot of people don’t get to live to be eighteen, so why on earth am I here complaining about how old I am?
I still have so many epic adventures to be had. I get to go to school for the first time and study to become a psychologist so that I can live my dream of helping people who struggle with self harm, depression, and eating disorders. Guys, that finally hit me today and I am so excited. Like I can’t wait to start taking psych classes and maybe intern somewhere and then get my degree and be able to run a nonprofit and, prayerfully, be able to make a difference. I want to be a public speaker and conferences and I want to have a program for people who struggle with distorted eating but don’t have an official “eating disorder” diagnosis so maybe we can prevent eating disorders. I want to take a nutrition class so I can learn to eat better and teach others to do the same.
I’m finally going to meet new people too! I’m going to be so out of my comfort zone but I can’t wait to see what God has planned for me at college. I’m looking forward to finding ways to share my faith and be a light there, even at community college. I’m stoked that I have friends going with me and hopefully I’ll have a class with at least one of them.
Being an adult opens more doors for me ministry wise, and I am looking forward to doing a crap load of volunteering, maybe this summer before I get too busy. I pray that I’ll also get this job at an office so I can be a “real adult” and make my own money and be able to buy things for my friends and help my mom out. I’m going to be able to go places, socialize, and grow more as a person over the next few years. And most importantly, I’m going to be able to follow God’s calling for my life.
If those things don’t sound exciting to you then man, I feel sorry for you. Because its great.
So I wanted to tell you that because I don’t want you to be afraid. I also say it because I am terrified and I’m trying so hard not to be. I hope you realize how blessed you are, no matter what stage of life you’re in, you are blessed. Change is difficult, but you have the ability to either complain or be thankful. Life is always going to go at the opposite pace you want it; its just the way it goes. You can only control how you respond to it. So what will you choose to do?
Seriously life is wonderful. You have a great one ahead of you with so many more adventures. Be brave, my friends.
What are your plans for the coming year? Graduates, what are your plans for college years and beyond? How does growing up feel? PS. Enjoy my “Growing Up” playlist.