Hello blog world!
I just wanted to pop in and give you a life update. I always hated doing these for whatever reason, but with all the stuff going on in my life I just feel like I could tell everyone in one place instead of answering a million questions of individuals.
First, I would like to apologize for typos. My baby sister spilled an entire cup of coffee on my family’s only working laptop. The laptop survived, but not without damage to the key board. It’s now got realllllyyyyy bad sticky keys. And the numbers don’t work at all. So this post is going to take twice as long to write up.
So here is what I’ve been up to.
Well, as many of you know, I recently had a kidney biopsy. The results weren’t so good and it appears that the lupus has gotten to my kidneys pretty bad. I’m now having chemo treatments every other week. Bad news is the possible side effects of chemo. The big two are losing my hair and losing my ability to have kids. Both of which I was saddened by hearing. But the good news is that I haven’t been reacting too badly to the treatment other than my legs going oddly numb and some stiffness, which is more annoying than anything. Plus they upped the dosage of my steroids by a lot. So my lupus is kinda going out of control right now, but I have actually had a good week. I was able to exercise for the first time in a long time, which felt awesome. I’m going in for my next treatment on Friday, so we’ll see how that goes. I’ve really been praying about how God wants to use this. Since I got sick I’ve been opened up to a whole new community of people, which means a whole new mission field. I’m excited to be able to reach out to them. So be praying for that.
I had one photo session with a family from my church and it was great! I also got to take some pictures at my church’s chili cookoff as well as my nephew’s first birthday party. My friend, Maddi, made an incredible cake for the event, which is pictured below.
Currently my goal is to save up for a DSLR camera which has been incredibly difficult considering I don’t have a job. But God is providing in more ways than I ever thought possible and now I’m almost halfway to having all the money for it! I can’t wait to grow as a photographer and be able to offer my services more. I’ve also been toying with the idea of starting a legitimate business someday.
Today I officially finished all my senior textbooks. I was really trying to push myself this year to do better in school since I’ve always struggled in that area. Now I want to take the rest of the year to focus on college prep and math. I want to learn how to properly write a paper and all that jazz.
Ahh yes….that novel I wrote back in November…yeah that needs to get rewritten. I, however, know nothing about rewriting. I haven’t got a clue where to start on two hundred and twenty pages of nonsense and gibberish. It can get overwhelming. But I don’t want to give up on this story. It means a lot to me and I really feel God wants me to tell it. In a way, the book was mysteriously prophetic. It was a tough one to write since it involved being very open. God spoke to me a lot through writing it and I would hate to have it metaphorically rot on a shelf somewhere.
Also, I HAD THE BEST PLOT BUNNY EVER. But I know I can’t start it until I finish Forlorn Hope. But I may just have my NaNoWriMo for this year. Mwahaha! It’s a psychological thriller esque. I am foreseeing so much research for that novel…but I’m excited!
Becoming An Adult
Like I mentioned before, I need a job. But there has been quite a good number of complications with this, mostly stemming from the fact that I can’t seem to get an ID. But if all goes as planned I shall be getting that on Wednesday! After that, job hunting. Dun dun dunnnnn. Finding a job is going to be insane because I need to essentially find the perfect job. One what isn’t a sitting down desk job and also one that I can tackle on a bad flare day. I want to enjoy it and I also want to work with people. Also, it has to be within walking or busing distance because I can’t drive. I have a few ideas but I’m not sure who’s hiring right now. I’m nervous because, well, growing up is scary and I hate commitment. I’m worried my body isn’t going to cooperate. But I like working. I don’t like being stuck inside all day, which is what my life is right now.
Then of course, getting ready for college. I’m going to community college, but I haven’t got any of that sorted officially. I did my FAFSA but that’ it. I need to register for classes and meet with the disabilities office about making accommodations for me, which I am so thankful they are willing to do. Praise God. I’ve got to save up for college supplies, mainly a laptop, and work out money things.
Things On My Heart
~That there are so many amazing people and things and great photos and breath taking sights and mind blowing stories I’ll never get to experience or see or hear about. And I don’t know if that saddens me or inspires me.
~There are so many hurting people all around me and I am at a loss to take away their pain. And lately I have felt crushed by that. But its both beautiful and painful and I don’t know if I’m angry by that or happy. I honestly think both.
~The stigma around mental illness.
~Fellow spoonies who are suffering more than me.
~The notion that life isn’t a competition
~Learning to genuinely love others and listen and not just wait for my turn to talk.
~Striving towards true spiritual maturity.
Things I’ve Been Loving
Here is a miscellaneous list of things I’m enjoying as of late.
~late night bible time with my Christmas lights and candles
~The music from The Nutcracker and Swan Lake
~Trying new foods
~Getting back into fitness
~Ludens cough drops and Orbit gum
Sorry that was longer than I expected. Whoops. I hope you enjoyed this post I made mostly for myself so I know all the crap I need to get done. Writing helps me think.
How are all of you?! Let me know in the comments or like my Facebook page and send me a message on there or email me or bother me on Twitter. I’d love to hear from you!
Have a great day!