To Whom It May Concern

   We’ve only met once.

   It was long ago.
   I was a different person back then.
   And if we were to meet again, really meet again, I don’t think you’d recognize me.
   I’ve seen you around more times than I care to admit. Always at the worst times. The last time being right after Christmas. Right after my dad left. I could have said something. Stopped to say hello. But I didn’t care. I knew God had set it up, but I ignored Him because I had too many problems going on, I didn’t need yours. I realize now how selfish I had been. I don’t know when I stopped loving others, but slowly my intense passion for others turned to apathy. Everything I had that made me different was fading.
   But like each time before that I started to fall into selfishness, you showed up.
   I guess hearing your name is God’s subtle reminder that there are more important things in life than my own drama. Because each time you come up, I remember. I remember that I there is a world of hurting people out there. I have a whole world to save, I just get so caught up in myself that I often forget.
   I was so different.
   People think I’m shy now? Ha. No. I was shy back then. I was terrified of everything and everyone. Tall, intimidating, older people especially. 
   I don’t know how different you were. 
   I’ve come to realize that in this life, there are 3 different people that are identified by one body. As for you, there’s the you that you pretend to be, there’s the you people around me say you are, and then there’s the you that I see you as. 
   I think the last one is correct. Although its scary when I seem to be the only person to see some things. 
   You’re in a bad place right now. You’ve always kind of been in a bad place, but during this time especially. So that’s why I’m writing this letter. Because I hope that someday these words would drift to the right ears and bring hope.
   Because I was in a bad place once too. 
   Not the same bad place as you. But I used to be in metaphorical chains. I’m not anymore. 
   If this were a movie, I would be able to walk over there and say everything I hadn’t all these years. I would speak confidently and your heart would soften and you would accept my words. But this isn’t a movie. This is reality; and the reality is, I’m so shy, and I have no idea what I could say, and I don’t know how to even go about such a task. Plus you would probably cuss me out or laugh at me. 
   But here is the heart of it all; you’re not who you pretend to be or who others say you are. I know because if I had a super power, it would be seeing things from a different perspective. It’s something God has graced me with. I used to think it was a curse; that I was doomed to see things wrong, but I found that I’m not seeing things wrong, I’m seeing them from a different stand point. When I look at people, I don’t see the mess they’ve made, I see all that they could be. Maybe that’s how we can love people; we see past their faults and into their future.

   I saw a picture of a bunch of people gathered together to pray for a friend. It made me wonder…how many people would get together to pray on your behalf? Sure if they heard about your story, about where you’re at, about your hard life, they might say a quick prayer. But in all honesty, who would go out of their way to pray for you on a regular basis?

   Well, me.

   It’s been over 5 years. I don’t see you anymore but every night before I go to bed, God says to me “pray.” And I do. For you.

   I saw fruit once. That was enough. One time. One sentence. That was all the proof I needed that you could be redeemed. Not that I ever doubted you.

   Call me crazy. Call me a freak. A weirdo. Obsessive. Odd. I don’t care.

   I’m a fanatic. For Christ. And I couldn’t care less about what other people have to say about me.

   Here’s what I want you to know: you are always braver than you think. You’re not a lost cause. You have made mistakes, but you don’t have to keep making mistakes. Sometimes you just need one person the believe in you, so know that I do. I always have. And I always will.

   Some people look at you and they shake their heads because you’re a sinner. You’ve screwed up. You got into some deep crap. They say its a shame where you are now. They judge you but they won’t offer a hand to help you up.

   But I think of you and think of someone who will do anything to be noticed, because you’re so scared of being forgotten. You don’t care if your reputation is good or bad, as long as everyone knows it. I’m sure you’ve cried. Many of nights probably. But no one will ever see those tears. I see the hurt you’ve felt, I know a lot of it is because of your parents who split. I know how that feels. I know you feel deeply. You love even deeper than you hate, but you would never let anyone know that. I’ve seen you as you’ve tried to satisfy yourself with anything and everything the world had to offer. And I’ve watched as it never got you anywhere.

   I don’t know if you feel guilt or shame, I don’t know if you’re grieving your situation or if you think you’re cool because of it, but I know that it gets better.

   I know that you have a future. God has a plan for your life. I know because I used to think my world was over, but you showed me that it wasn’t.

   I don’t know why God decided to put you on my heart, nor do I know why He chose me for the task; because surely there are better equipped people out there. But He doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. I’m just going to walk out on a limb with this one.

   I know you can be great. I don’t know how many people have ever told you that. But I promise, you have a great future ahead of you. Life is more than this moment or these struggles. Our past doesn’t have to dictate our future. And most of all, you can be so much more than this. You are loved. You are being prayed for. You can be a world changer.

   I hope that one day I’ll be able to see you again. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know something has to. I have asked God to break your heart, to let you feel a holy sorrow, one that leads to redemption. Your story isn’t over yet. Because you are amazing, you just need to be reminded.

Published by faithmariephoto

follower of Jesus. Artist. Feminist. Life enthusiast.

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