Happy 50th anniversary Doctor Who!
Yes I was one of those weird nerds who dressed up to watch the special extra long episode to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. It.was.amazing! I loved the humor and sarcasm and all of that, but there was something that really stuck out to me. See, God is so weird. He teaches me things in series’. He’ll stick to one lesson (or maybe two.) at a time and He’ll show me this point in a lot of things. Well this time He’s doing in a Doctor Who themed way. (Thanks God. You’re cool.) *If you haven’t seen the episode and want to, don’t read past this point.*
Allow me to reminisce for a moment.
I remember the night like it was just yesterday. I was in 8th grade and it was 1am and I was on my way to my very first missions trip. I had been waiting for that day since I was 9 years old. All of the kids in the van were crazy with excitement. We drove on the expressway and passed by the city. I stared in awe at the skyline and all the bright lights that broke through the darkness of the night. We had been blasting music the whole ride and dancing along with happiness. That was when my brother got us all settled down and he played a song for us. Before he played it he told us he wanted us all to listen closely to the lyrics and to not let this moment simply pass. He wanted us to really think. He gave us a statement and a question from that song. Just those two things. “This is your life. Are you who you want to be?” As ‘This Is Your Life’ by Switchfoot played I just stared out the window at the passing city and I pondered that question with sincere thought. That moment has never escaped me.
Today in the episode of Doctor Who, the Doctor met 3 of himself from 3 different times in his life. There was 1 mistake he regretted more than anything else he had ever done. The oldest Doctor of the 3 got to see himself and who he would turn out to be. I sat by the television screen with peaked interest as they all conversed throughout the episode. It made me think. Hard.
If my 10 year old self and my 13 year old self could meet the person I am today, would they be proud?
Am I who I’ve always wanted to be?
Am I doing things that my future self will thank me for?
These were my thoughts as I watched the Doctor Who 50th anniversary. This is my life; I can be whoever I want to be. Am I living up to that? Am I being all that I have the potential to be? Maybe in some areas I am. But in more ways, I am certainly slacking. What would 10 year old Princess Faith say to the young woman she would turn out to be?
Maybe it would be something like this “Faith, you have such big aspirations. But you’re still so stuck thinking about what other people think of you. You’re trapped in a bubble of self doubt and you’re so afraid to have a voice. So why do I think the opposite of you? When I think about the young lady I want to be when I’m 17, I see her as strong and courageous. And spontaneous. Crazy spontaneous. She’s not fearless, she has a lot of fears, but they don’t control her. Faith, what are you so afraid of? Go out there! DO something! Fear is something I struggle with. How many years has it been for you? Get over it. Get over yourself.”
But then, there could be more positive things to be said as well. “Faith, you’ve been through more than I have. I never thought my life would turn out this way. And I guess that’s part of the beauty. You’re doing things. Right there, caught up in the moment, you don’t think you’re doing enough but you can’t see the effect you have on people. RAIM; that’s something that’s just beginning in my life. I just came to know Christ 2 years ago; I’m still a baby. Look at you! Look how far you’ve come! Don’t you dare give up now! You’re at the peak of something wonderful. I can’t believe that’s who I become one day. You’re still so shy but there’s a light in your eyes, and you speak more than I do. And when you do, you inspire. Because that’s your intent. I’m locked up in my old thoughts. But not you. I’m glad to know I become someone great.”
Two years ago at camp I wrote myself a letter that my leader would send me 8 months later. She did, and I got to read it and I still keep it. It was a letter that I wrote to my future self. Here is a bit of what I said: “I’m challenging you to really change. I dare you to be the kind of woman that God has called you to be. Be the kind of girl that others want to be like, but watch your pride….People are gonna make you mad, but don’t let it get to you. Be strong in the Lord and remember what He has pulled you through.”
I’ve grown so much and I’ve overcome so much. Sure I’ve failed a lot but I’m certainly not where I was lsat year or two years ago. I’m moving forward and I want to continue to do so. I want to be who I’ve always wanted to be. I want to be someone that my child self would be proud of. I want to continue to grow so that I can be proud of who I become later. What about you? What would your past self say to the person you are today?