“Don’t wanna call you in the night time, don’t wanna give you all my pieces, don’t wanna hand you all my troubles, don’t wanna give you all my demons. You’ll have to watch me struggle from several rooms away, but tonight I need you to stay.”-The Run And Go, twenty one pilots.
This is what I’ve been feeling like these past few days. No, I haven’t been pushing people away. I’ve been having to sit back and watch people struggle knowing I can’t do anything about it. Its such a hard position to be in, especially if you’re like me. I always feel like its my personal responsibility to take away everyone’s problems. I want to save every life and take away every problem. I’m so very sympathetic. I’ve been sympathetic to the point of lying on my floor crying because I can’t help someone. It kills me inside to watch someone suffer. Sympathy isn’t a bad thing, its a gift that we can use to help others. But there are times when we can’t help and so we’re stuck hurting. I know when someone I know is hurting, I hurt. It sucks sometimes but I always need to remember that its God’s gift to me even when it feels like a curse.
The sad reality is I can’t save the whole world. I can’t do it all. There comes a point where we have to accept our limitations so we can stop putting such a heavy burden on ourselves. God has made me notice this in my life. There are also times in our lives where we have to sit back and watch someone go through a trial on their own. I’m in that situation. But God revealed to me that that’s another aspect of love. I guess you could call ‘love being patient.’ The Greek word for patient is ‘makrothymeo’ and it means “to be of long spirit, not to lose heart. To persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles. To be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others.” I always go on Blue Letter Bible to look up Greek word definitions when I do long bible studies and out of all the words I’ve looked up, this definition is my all time favorite. When I read that for the first time it blew my mind. The bible calls us to love with this kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Patience isn’t simply waiting, its enduring.
When you’re in my boat where you can’t do anything to help someone, what do you do?
Accept your limitations and let God fill you where you can’t fill yourself and know that your adequacy comes from Him. We cannot be sufficient on our own. Also, be there for them. Don’t give up on them; continue to pray for them and show that you’re there. I like that part from The Run And Go where he says “tonight I need you to stay.” He wasn’t asking for them to take his burdens away or save him, he simple says I need you to just be here. Sometimes your presence is all that is required and I know, you might feel totally useless doing that but you’re not.
I guess that’s just one of the things that God has been showing me. It’s a hard thing to learn and it’ll probably take me a long time to finally put this all into practice but its a start.
And as for a NaNoWriMo update: I’m halfway there! Yay!!! I want to not be so lazy this week. I also might post my book on Wattpad, or at least a few chapter if you guys want a sneak peek. Maybe? I think my book is so boring….but its getting written so that’s all that matters! And my sister got a blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Follow her blog The One And Only Time Lord. Press the title for the link:)
Until next time.
May the Force be with you!