I’m going to be 17 tomorrow. Yep. I’m old. Two days ago I spent my day looking at old pictures from Jr. High and even before that, and yesterday I hung around church during the Jr. High youth group. So I was having some major flashbacks from my Jr. High years. I looked at all the kids at group and I thought “No…I wasn’t that young…” But I was. It didn’t feel like it, but looking back on it now, I was 11! I remember thinking I was so old then and so mature. Ha. I see my two little siblings who are now at that age and they think they’re so mature and old too and I laugh because I was the exact same way. I tried to tell them that they were still young but they insisted they were old. Oh well, they’ll get it eventually.
I was just thinking back on all the stuff I didn’t know back in Jr. High. I didn’t know how much my world would change in a few short years, I didn’t know that fights with my best friend were temporary, I didn’t know that I would eventually have to let go of the guy I liked oh so much, I didn’t know that the things I cried over would be ok; nor did I know who I would be in high school or the plans God had for me. I had no clue. I was totally oblivious. Back in Jr. High I thought I was having the best years of my life, I thought that every day should be Tuesday because thats when my youth group was. I didn’t know that I still had my whole life ahead of me.
It reminds me the song Souvenirs by Switchfoot.
“Here’s to the twilight, here’s to the memories, these are my souvenirs, my mental pictures of everything. Here’s to the late nights, here’s to the firelight, these are my souvenirs, my souvenirs. I close my eyes and go back in time. I can see you smiling you’re so alive, we were so young, we had no fear. We were so young we had no idea that life was just happening.”
“Here’s to your bright eyes, shining light fireflies. These are my souvenirs, the memory of a lifetime. We were wide eyed with everything, everything around us. We were enlightened by everything. Everything. I close my eyes and go back in time. You were just a child then and so was I. We were so young we had no fear. We were so young, we had no idea that nothing lasts forever.”
That song captures it just perfectly. That’s exactly how I was. I had no idea. I was totally clueless. But in a way, that was a good thing. If I had known what God had in store for me beforehand, maybe I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Tomorrow I turn 17 and for once I think I’m becoming who I want to be. After high school I’ll probably blog these exact same lyrics and say that I had no idea where I was going and you know what? That’s ok. That’s more than ok. Because of how oblivious and young I was, I enjoyed life. I enjoyed every second of it all. It seems like it was just yesterday and also years ago at the exact same time. I loved it. I don’t regret it; time flies to matter how much you cling to it. So don’t be upset that you never “lived in the moment.” Just live life and don’t overthink it. Nothing lasts forever.